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The Downside of Cohabiting

The New York Times ran an article this week showing what Biblical counselors and pastors have always known: couples who cohabit before marriage are less satisfied with marriage and more likely to divorce than those who do not. Several of the illustrative stories include people ending the marriage after 1 year even though they had cohabitated for years before getting married.

Here is the article: The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage

One of the biggest problems is that those who cohabitate tend to start with convenience in mind, not a successful marriage. Eventually it becomes a “good idea,” so they go through with it without any real reason for marriage or even thoroughly thinking through the ramifications.  It becomes a purgatory of sorts that is not really married but not really not. There are reasons why marriage is outlined in the Bible the way that it is. If you try it other ways or try to distort it, it will not work. It is hard enough to make it work the right way.

Another key piece of insight was that many couples spend more time preparing for their wedding than their marriage. In my experience this is true for many people, especially those who do not take the time to do thorough premarriage counseling.

This is why premarriage counseling is so heavily emphasized here at Biblical Change. It makes a huge difference. It is better to build a solid foundation than to try to rebuild it later. When I do a wedding we make sure that it is a good ceremony, but we spend more time working on the relationship side of things, whether that is what they actually want to do or not.

Marriage and premarriage counseling are the most popular services we provide. Please contact us if you are interested. We can do premarriage for you even if you already have someone else to officiate your ceremony.